Dr Strangefun (or, how I stopped worrying and learned to leave the Ursula)

OOF.

So, when you have a game like this with asymmetry, you’re gonna have a problem balance. By definition, not all characters are created equally. Some characters are gonna be easy to understand, or hard to win, or nearly impossible against certain foes. That’s just a part of these games. That’s fine.

As long as it’s fun.

If anyone is familiar with the “Let’s Get Wicked!” Podcast, or with the game in general, there seems to be a general consensus that Ursula is especially bad, and Evil Queen is especially good. You may not have that understanding, and if you do, you have my immense jealousy!

Evil Queen is a discussion for another time, though I may mention her again. For now, though, we will focus on Ursula.

Most of the Characters are well thought out and incredibly well balanced, especially considering that this is a board game, and you can’t really go in and patch pre-existing characters. Yes, some characters are easier to win with than others, but they all feel plausible, and no victory is one hundred percent particular villain. They are all engaging and fun to play.

Except Ursula.

Ursula is a b**** to play.

As of writing, Perfectly Wretched is yet to come out, but as it currently stands, Ursula is the least loved Villain in the game. She is one of the more complicated to play, and one of the hardest to win with. The only people who actively choose to play her are diehard fools like me, obsessed with finding the ‘diamond in the rough’ (wrong movie, I know), and the people who are new to the game and really want to play their favourite character.

I don’t want you to think that Prospero Hall have put no effort into her character. At first glance there is a lot of flavour and texture to this characters design. Firstly, she has a lock token that moves between the two end locations. This colourfully the transformation between human and mermaid/Octopus-lady, which is a key focus of the film. Secondly, she has a unique way of vanquishing heroes. She plays binding contracts, which defeat heroes after they’ve been moved to the right location, reflecting on how she makes horrible Rumplestiltskin style deals to get what she wants. It’s quite neat.

But not at all cohesive.

See how Ursula has that lock location? It means that she can never move Heroes or Items in or out of one of the end locations at all times. When your whole other gimmick is based around moving Heroes around, you’re going to find yourself tripping over your own feet/fins all the time. It’s a challenge, yes, but is it an appealling one?

And it’s not just her gimmicks that seem antithetical to her goals. Ursula has a very Hero-heavy fate deck. 11 of her 15 cards are heroes or effects to bring out heroes, and the other four are items which must attach to heroes. For a character like Scar (who suffers greatly from having this kind of fate deck anyway) it at least makes sense, as his goal is about defeating Heroes. Ursula hasn’t got anything to do with it, and with only three available locations at any one time for the whole game, she is easily swamped by just a couple of heroes.

Even putting her goal aside, having an extra heavy hero focus can be fine, as long as you have the tools to deal with it. Ursula has not. She has six cards in her whole deck that let you vanquish heroes. That’s only one more than the Evil Queen. Evil Queen, however, has ways of regaining access to her top actions, and her Take A Bite cards have an immediate effect. Also, wouldn’t you know, she HAS to vanquish to win the game, so having this gimmick makes sense thematically AND has interesting gameplay needs.

But Ursula does not have to vanquish to win the game. She needs to get the Trident and the Crown to her Lair. Why does it have to be her lair? Why does she get them as two, very seperate cards, when they seem to be a bind-one-get-one-free package the entire film? Why does the magic shell she traps Ariel’s voice in play no significant part in her deck? Those are minor quibbles of theme, admittedly, but also signifiers of the lack of understanding of Ursula on the whole.

Having little way to deal with Heroes can be fine, though, if you have alternate ways of dealing with them. For this, I think of the Queen of Hearts being able to shrink Heroes, or the locations in Prince John’s and Ratigan’s Realms that have no top actions, ideal for moving pesky heroes to.

A small part of Ursula’s strategy seems to revolve around keeping heroes in her realm, just out of the way. Although her lock token makes this a tedious strategy, she does have a lot of tools to move heroes around. Her cauldron is a card (the only card) that highlights this strategy, rewarding a lot of power for binding Heroes but not defeating them.

Of course, she does not have any particularly suitable location to keep heroes around in like Prince John or Ratigan do, and she has less binding contracts than heroes, making this a difficult and unimpressive tactic with high risk. With a bunch of vital top action spots and a lack of reward for managing overbearing Heroes, this concept seems poorly executed.

A Hero at her lair stops her from using any of her activate abilities. A Hero at Eric’s Ship stops you from accessing the Lair with Grow Giant, making activate cards even more redundant. A Hero at the Shore drastically cuts your most powerful spot to shreds, and removes your ability to discard. A hero at the Palace makes it harder to constantly Fate, which is what many have found to be her only viable, though obnoxious, strategy.

However, if you want the most horrible example of Ursula’s cohesion, look at her actual path to victory: digging. To win with Ursula, you need to dig for your two important cards, which means constant discarding. She has Divination, which CAN let you dig quite deep, and if you discard either item, you can pull them out with Opportunist. Also, if you’re lucky enough to have Arrogance when an opponent defeats a Hero with a total Strength of 4 or more, you’ll get an extra boost as you continue your dig.

In this, she is similar to Jafar. However, Jafar has plenty of ways to deal with intrusive heroes, Solid locations, a permanently removable lock, and plently of valuable cards to play in the meantime, such as Iago, Snake Staff, Gazeem, and so on. He’s hardly top tier, but he has tools and interesting ways to use them.

Most of Ursula’s cards are reactive, however, and highly situational. Even her Allies, Flotsam and Jetsam, have niche usage, and even then rely on a single, top row activation spot. Compare this to Evil Queen. She has an activatable Ally, her only Ally, but the Huntsman has a passive ability that is useful for many situations. On top of that, she has two activate symbols, and “I’ll Fix Ya” to regain access to them.

Ursula, on the other hand, has 16 cards that have no use unless there is a Hero out, and then has minimized ways to play them when they are, thanks to her shrunken board and her location layouts. While she is building to her ultimate goal, she has very little interesting to do, other than to try and stay afloat with Heroes on her board, and drag other players down with her by constantly fating.

This is why I have been going on about cohesion. Because unlike every other character, Ursula’s Deck and Realm seem to be actively working against her own objectives. And that’s not even considering how devastating her Fate deck can be. Triton effect, especially Snarfblatts and Dinglehoppers, would be hard to be rid with even the most favourable board design and hand. You could reach nearly the bottom of your deck, with Trident and Crown yet to come out, and Flounder can completely undo all of your hard work. Ariel sends a somewhat competent board state down the drain, and can grind your gameplay to a halt, and when you have finally overcome her, there are three Return to Forms ready to bring her back and set you even further back.

Hades, for comparison, is also a tough win, but there is a simple goal, and its an easy drive to have. You find you want to succeed. Evil Queen, on the other hand, is the closest thing to a cakewalk in the game so far, but she has a bunch of interesting parts that fit neatly together, and it’s satisfying to pull her off. Each character has give and take, and there’s something there for everyone. But, for Ursula, there only seems to be take.

I can’t find the fun with Ursula. Some are still searching for it, but I am swiftly running out of hope.

For now? I’m gonna pretend she isn’t in the game for the most part. I’ll probably still find the urge to try again sometime, and if someone else plays her, I won’t stop them. But if I’m introducing the game, I’m gonna act like she isn’t in the box. And it breaks my heart.

Because I love Ursula. My idol, Howard Ashman, wrote her lyrics. It’s one of my favourite Disney movies. Based on a Drag Queen for her visual design, she’s the closest thing to queer representation in the Disney canon. She is important to me, and she is important to a lot of my friends. To see her represented in this way, it feels like slander.

Again, I don’t want you to think that I think Prospero Hall intended this. I believe they really thought they did her Justice. I just feel heartbroken, and can only say that they have not. I just hope that Gaston is AMAZING when he inevitably comes out.

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Thanks for reading!

It was a bit long and dark for the first post, I know. I promise the next one will be a little lighter! It’ll still be critique, but much less heavy-handed and intense! I think I’m gonna be talking about Scar next.

Have a great day,

Madness Hattzer

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